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Fear is your Friend, Shake His Hand

Sep 28, 2013 | Uncategorized | 8 comments

Who likes being afraid of the things in life? Tossing and turning at night, with fears spinning-up in your head, you think, “Who needs it”?

Well, I’m here to tell you that you do. You need to have fear in your life- and here’s why. It is part of getting what you want and having the life you desire.

An old English proverb says “Courage is when the fear behind you becomes more than the fear in front of you.” Well, maybe it’s not an old English proverb, but I did hear it somewhere. I actually believe it’s true.  I believe we are all driven by fear – that it’s an inherent part of our lives.

The fear in front of us is how we feel when we risk it all and try new things, like meeting new people, getting the jobs and relationships we want, or taking a chance on love.

The fear behind us? It’s the fear that we will die without living life at all. We won’t love the way we should, we won’t work at the job we want, and we will just accept what comes to us as though we have no choice.  That is by far my greatest fear.

We have to understand, it’s not in our nature to step off into the unknown and not feel some trepidation.  It’s how our bodies protect us from danger.  But we can act in spite of fear.  It’s a welcome and soothing thought that even when we have fear- we also have power.  And the power to change is the greatest power we have.

So welcome the fear that naturally comes with change.  It means, you’re pursuing what you want out of life. Consider these things to help you through-


Accept It- Recognize why you must accept fear to get what you want out of life. I want to live a challenging and fulfilling life. To do that, I have to do things I’ve never done before. That’s scary, but it can also be exciting. If I let fear stop me I will be giving up what I need to feel fulfilled.


Take Action– The worst fear is in our head.  Having a small step in front of you that you can work on today can bring you out of that paralysis.  Make a list of what you want to accomplish.  Reach out to someone who’s done what you want to do.   Go research a topic on the internet that interests you and learn more about it.  Taking action lessens our focus on our fear.


Exercise– Getting out of our heads and focusing on our bodies is a good release. There is no substitute for consistent physical exercise to clear away the cobwebs in our minds and prepare us for good work.  Try to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise three times a week.


Meditate– In our busy lives it’s important to stop, be still, and listen to our hearts.  Ten minutes of daily meditation reminds us that we are human beings- not human doings.  Focus on your breathing and relax every muscle in your body once daily.


Welcome it– Several ancient practices advocate for making a welcoming statement when you are facing fear.  Take a moment to say “I know I’m afraid, and I welcome the fear as part of having the life I want.” When I acknowledge my fear, it dissipates.  Even without exactly understanding why this happens, it lets me move forward in comfort.


Each time you face your fear and keep going, you become stronger and less afraid.    There is wisdom that comes from having been around the block. I’ve learned that I can go through tremendous change and survive.  I can even grow as a person.


The fear we face is often the beginning of wonderful change in  our lives.


So, go get ‘em Tiger!


  1. Sheryl

    You’re so right. Fear gets a bit less onerous when you face it – but that takes courage. Yet it’s really worth it if you pursue it.

  2. Sharon Greenthal

    As someone who has lived with anxiety disorder for most of my life, fear is something I desperately wish would go away. But I do see the value in it, and use it to make changes and better choices quite often.

  3. Susan Bonifant

    Fear, for all the bad feelings that come with it, can be viewed as a warning or a dare. It’s hard to fight how it feels but what it means can be good things.

  4. Dawn Biocca

    Good one. Fear is a wonderful thing. We need to understand the difference between being afraid and doing it anyway or letting fear control you and not doing it. I have faced it in my life – getting married, having kids, purchasing our first home, etc. We are faced with it daily and we can let it control us to the point of not doing anything. Which I have found myself doing several times over the past year. But I have also worked through it and forced myself to do what I needed to do. What I felt afterwards was wonderful. I felt empowered because I did it anyway. That is growth and it is a wonderful thing. Keeping your eye on the prize is one of the keys to getting through it. Love you dear and thank you.

  5. Virginia

    Thanks so much for your good thoughts. I know you have been pushing through fears because I remember how you have focused on change and moving outside of your comfort zone. I admire you!

  6. Pam Allen

    Fear is something I fight with all the time. Face it is always a challenge but I welcome the challenge. Today I was filled with fear and you sat down at the table making the fear of being all by myself go away! Love your tips- I need to work on the Mediation and Exercise!

    Hopefully see you tomorrow!

    • Virginia

      It was good to meet you too Pam! It’s amazing to see what you’ve done with your blog and how your life is evolving. Thanks for the post. Virginia

  7. Kathy @ SMART Living

    Great reminders for this important subject. I don’t think any of us can hear about it enough. It definitely reminds me of the book by Susan Jeffers, “Feel the Fear and do It Anyway.” Thanks!