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Four Things I’ve Learned From My Favorite Couples

May 14, 2013 | Uncategorized | 6 comments

A large gang of closest friends and family met in Vegas for our

wedding toast

anniversary wedding toast

20th anniversary celebration.  A weekend staying in a big hotel, lying by the pool, enjoying the nightlife seemed like the perfect way to celebrate.  And somewhere amongst the scanty bathing suits and jumbo sized drinks, I learned a lot about what makes great couples tick.

 

Nine couples headed to warm sunny Las Vegas for the weekend. Somehow it seemed appropriate to celebrate our 20th with these couples.  It seemed apropos that the group had a magic to it, everyone devoted to their partners. As a matter of fact, three of the couples were together over 30 years.

But of course, it doesn’t take longevity to qualify as a great couple.  My daughter and her husband have only been married 7+ years.  She is funny and a magnet for people, he is quiet with an understated sense of humor.  She has brought him out of his shell, and he provides an anchor so she doesn’t drown in her activities. Their love is evident, and they fit together like new puzzle pieces.

I even saw something in the “honeymooners”.  Both close to 50 when they found each other, the honeymooners were short-timers compared to the other couples. But they remind me of how lucky we felt when we knew we’d found “the one”. They know it too, and are holding on tightly to each other.

So, if it isn’t longevity that makes these couples great, what is it? Well, I don’t know a magic formula, but I did notice these things-

They know what works for them- Whether similar or different personalities, these couples know what works for them and seem content with it.  Some were so different you could see that he was the yin for her yang-complimenting and balancing each other out.  Other couples seem to be very similar in personality; operating almost as a single unit.

They all have their own language. For some, it was friendly banter for others it was being sweet- but each couple spoke to their spouse differently than they did with anyone else.  Most had a private language; a special tone.  Some had terms that only they knew.   In addition, they often finished each other’s sentences. It seemed to give them an intimacy that only they shared.

Laugh at their flaws- Now granted, this was a party so the stress level was very low.  Still, these couples had a serious sense of humor when they dealt with their spouses. It seemed like they even appreciated the tedious parts of being with someone over the long-haul; like crankiness, bad jokes, or health problems. We all have these things, but these couples seemed to actually appreciate these flaws in their partners and laughed at them.

They didn’t listen to anyone else- most of these couples just wanted to be together.  They didn’t search the Internet; they never read a book on what person would be good for them. For each of these couples, it’s almost as though when the right one came along they knew it and jumped in with both feet. And, they all have made a conscience decision to stay together, leaving nothing to chance.

They took that leap of faith so that they can have someone to witness and share their life.  And, when I think of my 20 years with my husband, I see that’s what it’s all about with us too.

I’d love to hear what you think makes great couples.  Please share your comments. I hope you are enjoying your years with someone special.

6 Comments

  1. Missy Leathers

    Ahhh…LOVE this post, and agree with every observation of what makes a couple “stick”. I think that being able to laugh together, and making each other laugh is so bonding. Someone once said “laughter is the best medicine” and I believe that is true. And having a rapport, being tuned in to the other is important, but isn’t that part of sharing humor and love?

    • Virginia

      Yes, you are so right- I believe someone said to me “You fall in love with the people you laugh with” and I think it is so true. Thanks so much, I totally agree. Virginia

  2. Dawn Biocca

    I enjoyed this post. Having lived with the same person for almost 38 years I am in tune with him and he with me. It is funny how after all these years we think along the same line. Do we agree all the time? No way but that is part of being individuals yet a couple. We can have the best of both worlds. I tend to be a very independent person. But over the past few years – as Alan prepares for retirement – I look forward and have enjoyed spending more time with just him. We can be in a crowd and separated by people and space but that one look at each other from across the room is the very connection that keeps us together. I am looking forward to the future with this wonderful man I call my husband.

    • Virginia

      Lovely comments from a long-timer. So nice to hear! Thanks for commenting. Virginia

  3. Laurie

    I agree with all of your observations. I know the one thing that Tom and I have done is that we have made the conscious decision to stay together. No one gets to leave. This is a commitment and at times it may not be easy but nothing worth having really is. Being married is hard work and sometimes it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be but we are committed to each other and there is no one else I want to ride this roller coaster of life with.

    • Virginia

      Boy, you hit the nail on the head Laurie- I so agree that commitment is the key. And, it’s so rare these days! I love your honesty that sometimes it’s not all it’s cracked up to be! Good thing we can laugh at ourselves sometimes. Thanks for sharing, Virginia